How Free Do You Want To Be? Giving Back To The Universe With The Power Of Amends
Updated: Jan 12
Give Back to the Universe
How free do you want to be? That’s the question you should be asking yourself when it comes to making amends. You can experience very little freedom or a whole lot. The choice is yours to make. Like everything else in recovery, you can either fill a thimble or take the entire ocean. When it comes to making amends, the entire ocean is the equivalent to a lifetime of freedom from the harms you caused in the past.
After all, causing harm is what we do when we are untreated from our addiction. Living a life of addiction is a full time job that requires supreme selfishness. In order for you to have supplied your addiction you had to make your addiction the center of the universe, leaving everyone else in your pathway harmed in some way. Making amends is about cleaning up your entire past. I can give you a few tips on what to include when it comes to making your amends list. IT’S EVERYTHING.
I know a lot of people who sell themselves short on this process. They go say their sorry to a few people that they need to forgive them and call it a day. If you read the step closely it says make amends to “ALL” people we have harmed. This literally means everyone. People from your distant past. People you harmed whether you were sober or not sober. People from you childhood, adolescents, 20’s, 30’s and so forth. It means people you don’t like too. It means people that have harmed you more than you harmed them. It means all the employers, creditors, institutions, places and things. It means everything you have harmed. This is the pathway to genuine freedom.
I hear people say that they are making amends to everyone by staying sober. This is not amends in any way. This is another way to avoid being accountable in recovery. People act like they are giving others a gift, just by being sober. Because your sober doesn’t make up for the harm you caused. To them, you are finally doing what you were supposed to be doing all along. If you cause harm, you need to make it right.
Making things right is much different than saying you are sorry or finally getting sober. The person I owe the money to doesn’t give a damn about whether I am sorry or sober. They just want their money back. The family I hurt doesn’t want another meaningless apology. They may be happy that you are sober, but what they really want is you to get well and change the behaviors that caused them harm. In most cases you will have to go the extra step and do some things to help make it right. This is about cleaning up your karma. For years and years you stole from the universe. Now it’s time to give a whole bunch back.