Couple’s Therapy
Are you tired of feeling resentful, misunderstood and hopeless?
Are You And Your Partner Struggling To Communicate In A Healthy Way?
Do you find yourselves having emotional reactions to non-emotional things?
Are all your conversations riddled with misunderstanding?
Has all your disconnection made you wonder if you’re even meant to be?
Maybe you feel like your significant other just doesn’t listen to you or respect you. When you try to engage with them, they either get upset or shut down entirely. As a result, you might feel like you’re walking on pins and needles when they’re around. Perhaps every conversation feels exactly like a replay of the last one and you find yourselves arguing in circles. Even when you both genuinely want to make things right, you still feel stuck. For the first time, you may be considering couples therapy.
Major Life Changes May Have Brought Out Differences Between You
Deep down, you probably wish you could just go back to when you and your partner first fell in love and your relationship felt seamless. At the time, it may have seemed like you agreed on everything. But as time has gone on, changes in your lives—such as having kids, retiring, or becoming empty nesters—may have exposed your differences. Now, maybe it feels like you don’t see eye to eye on anything. Perhaps you feel unsupported when it comes to finances, parenting, and all the important areas of decision-making in your relationship.
You might be wondering: Can we ever get our connection back? At Milford Counseling, we’re here to answer that with an empathetic yes. Our therapists specialize in helping couples work through communication issues, deepen their trust, and renew their affection. With our support, we’re confident that you and your significant other can achieve a deeper and more mature connection than you’ve ever had before.
Every Relationship Goes Through Seasons Of Disconnection
Despite what social media suggests, all couples experience periods of conflict and dysfunction. We all bring different values, goals, and expectations into our relationships, so it’s only natural that we’re not on the same page about everything. There is wisdom in accepting that two people will not always see eye to eye.
Unfortunately, it’s hard to anticipate disagreements before they happen. At the start of a romance, things often feel so effortless and free-flowing that it seems like nothing could go wrong. But most couples find that, once children enter the picture or another major life transition happens, their dynamic begins to change.
What’s more, many couples live in relative peace until their families get involved. Sometimes their families clash heads because of cultural or religious differences. And couples in same-sex partnerships often experience rejection and discrimination from in-laws, which makes dealing with each other’s families tense. Many couples internalize these family issues and find that their relationship changes because of them.
Most Couples Experience Several Years Of Trouble Before They Seek Help
All too often, couples wait to get support until their problems really start to fester. Many of them think, “This is probably just a season of life that will pass,” expecting issues to resolve of their own accord. But relational wounds are like physical wounds—they don’t just magically heal on their own. Even if circumstances get better, there’s no guarantee that relationship problems will go away.
If you and your partner are experiencing discord, it’s important to seek help proactively instead of waiting. Taking care of your relationship struggles sooner rather than later can ensure that your bond stays strong for years to come. It can help set you up for long-term success and make sure you are able to work together peacefully and constructively when problems arise.
Therapy Can Empower Couples To Work As A Team
In most arguments, we all tend to ignore what the other person says because we are so fixated on how we will respond. We’re so determined to prove ourselves right and air our opinions that we don’t actually stop to reflect on what our partner is trying to say.
In couples counseling, you and your partner will learn to slow down, press pause, and practice listening to each other in a more intentional way. When your focus is on understanding your partner, it becomes much easier to work through issues gently and amicably. You can avoid falling into the same repetitive cycles and find growth in the midst of your disagreements. In this way, couples therapy can help you learn to work as a team and tackle your communication issues in a unified way.
Our therapists specialize in helping couples from all walks of life. We are passionate about working with LGBTQ+ couples and provide counseling for those who are engaged, married, or simply in a long-term relationship. No matter what your life circumstances are, we would be honored to walk with you and your partner on this journey of healing!
What To Expect In Couples Counseling Sessions
The way we do therapy is very flexible depending on the needs of each couple. Generally, we’ll meet with you and your partner together for the first session and then have one-on-one sessions with each of you separately. These one-on-one sessions are a chance to go deeper into your individual challenges and make sure both of you feel heard and understood. When they’re done, we’ll resume meeting together for the rest of therapy.
In sessions together, we will help you and your significant other learn to focus on the internal vs. the external in your relationship. This means that, instead of getting hung up on external problems like finances or parenting, you’ll learn to focus on what’s going inside you when disconnection happens. Doing so can help you communicate your feelings and avoid using hostile or inflammatory language. You can learn to tune in to your partner’s deepest needs and understand the ways that their needs differ from yours.
Our therapists also draw from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), and many other evidence-based therapeutic approaches. Regardless of which approach works best for you, our mission is to bring deeper understanding into your relationship and give you the tools to solve communication issues and draw closer together.
You May Have Some Questions About Couples Therapy…
What if my partner doesn’t want to come?
We know it’s hard when your significant other is resistant to therapy. If that’s the case, you can pursue individual counseling to take ownership of your part in your marriage. Over time, as you improve your communication and learn to relate to your partner in a new way, your partner may be inspired to try therapy themselves. We often see this happen with spouses—they change their mind and decide to come with their partner once they see that their partner has improved.
How do we know when we need counseling?
There is never a bad time to seek therapy. It’s what the majority of healthy couples do. After all, the tools and skills we give you are just reinforcements of what a healthy couple already does. Think of it like going to the gym—people that regularly go to the gym are usually in great shape, but they continue going because they want to stay in shape. In the same way, therapy is for couples who want to keep their relationship safe, healthy, and supportive.
What if our therapist sides with my partner?
Our therapists are not here to pick sides, but to help you and your significant other work together on the issues keeping you stuck. Although there may be times when we challenge both of you, we are neutral and unbiased and will not single one of you out.
Additionally, we always recommend having two different counselors if you are engaged in both individual and couples counseling. This way, it’s much easier to keep the issues being worked on in individual sessions from cropping up in couples work.
You Can Breathe New Life Into Your Relationship
With the right tools and support, you and your significant other can bridge your disconnection, deepen your intimacy, and fall back in love. To learn more about our approach to marriage therapy, you can use the contact form or call us at (248) 529-6383 to schedule your initial session.